i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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