I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
