Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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