Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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