Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
