i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
