just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
