I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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