dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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