You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize