he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize