i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
