I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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