just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize