Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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