Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
