Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
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