just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
