Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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