there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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