So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
