As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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