his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
