i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
