i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
