Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
