Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
