Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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