Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
