I just pynch a tree in the face
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
