Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
