i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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