There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He felt like a one man threesome
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
