im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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