is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
