Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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