sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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