just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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