How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
