My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my being single is dangerous.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize