you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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