Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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