I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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