i wish there were pregnant emoticons
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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