your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
