Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize