He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
