Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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