just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
