why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
His nipple licking is glorious
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