Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
