this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
