she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
