if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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