I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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