A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
