the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize