He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize