i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize