Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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